Consistency you little hobgoblin.

 I have been flirting with consistency forever. Right now, we're not seeing eye to eye. Don't get me wrong, I have been consistent in the most important area of my life right now- I am sober!!! Happy dance, patting myself on the back, and YAY me!! After I stopped drinking I actually thought I would lose some weight, after all there would be no more empty wine calories being consumed in mass quantities, followed by the blood sugar crashing binge. However, at virtually the same time I gave  up alcohol, I gave myself permission to go ahead and have that chocolate because shit, I deserve it for getting sober. Or skittles, or Swedish fish or insert junky sugary thing here, because I am still not drinking. Ugh.
 Weird thing. I have the same exact thought process about sugar that I had with alcohol. The tug of war - should I, shouldn't I, justification, rationalization. I've effectively traded one addiction for another. This quitting sugar is not going to be easy. And it's got to happen because I have managed to gain weight, not to lose it. Sugar is a drug. It doesn't have a home in any food group. And when I talk about sugar I am talking about the refined and processed kind, not the kind naturally found in whole foods. Sugar is not my friend, it is a tasty, temping bitch that is mostly making me feel yuck. Later. The consistent giving in to the call of sugar is not serving me.
 Consistent movement has, by contrast, been elusive. I will blame the weather, cold snowy Vermont, or the seasonal lack of motivation that comes with all of this darkness. I can procrastinate like it's my job, until it's too late in the day and I actually have to go to my job. I will putter around my house doing all sorts of things that aren't exercise, but HAVE to be done because . . . because why? I always feel better after I workout. I feel better during my workout. It is the cure. The righteous, sweaty cure. For pretty much everything. Why the hell is it like pulling fucking teeth to get there? I don't know, but if I ever figure it out I will tell the world.
 So in order to lose the weight I have recently gained in my consistent state of sobriety and chocolate bingeing, I need to be more consistent, and more than that, focused, with my exercise routine. Easy math. I am a professional after all. I have the information, I can do this, everyone can do this. Why is it so easy to fall out of step with ourselves? Why are we so much our own worst enemy? Critic? Roadblock? Humans are so strange. So freaking funny.